Thursday, February 12, 2015

This Is For My Future Kids

I don't know how prominent a fact this is to y'all, but I don't like Valentine's Day. It seems that the worst days of the year land somewhere in May, sometimes November, but ALWAYS February 14th. I've had a lot of time out here in these cold hinterlands to think about why exactly I'm so against celebrating the patron saint of Getting-Clubbed-to-Death-in-the-Streets-of-Rome. For one, I can't stand the corrupted lenses of commercialism. Why is love all of a sudden about buying jewelry and eating asbestos-flavored chalk hearts? When did that happen?

But I'm doing something brave this year! I've decided to celebrate this holiday, this excuse to get out of rehearsal! Why? Because I have something I need to fight for. 

50 Shades of Grey is coming out this weekend. I was never a fan of it simply because it was Twilight spawn and I knew it was tasteless erotica… and then I realized just how bad 50 Shades really is. The articles started coming out and I came to a conclusion: there are so many things totally wrong with this book. It then evolved from a simple "ew" to its full realization of depravity, desecration, and abuse. As much as I respect the freedom of speech, the culture this represents and the acceptance we give it is something I will not stand for. It is a hollow, dark mockery of what love is.

So, this post is for my children, who will surely ask me about love one day (one day when she exists...) and I will give her a better answer than E. L. James did. 

My Dear Future Chiddens,

Love comes in many shapes and sizes. It comes in colours and styles. It's limitless in expression and selfless in its desires. It's funny, it's awkward, it's weird, it's wonderful.

You're going to have friends. Hopefully, you'll have lots of good friends. You might even have a best friend. I have a best friend.

Your auntie, Miranda

We've been through the days, lemme tell you. I hope you find a best friend as good as mine. Our love is downright sisterly. We do weird things to each other. We scare the crap out of each other. We make each other laugh. That's love. Love is making her talk so that she won't bottle. Love is when she calms you down when your anxiety levels his panic mode. Love is writing a book together and making a million inside jokes that literally, only you two understand. I hope you have a best friend that makes you tea and orders chinese takeout because you deserve that kind of love.

I hope you have lots of friends because then you'll have a big support group. I hope that they're all good to you and that they lift you up. Join a soccer team or get into theatre. I want you to have a family away from your family. One day, you'll go to college and it will be hard to wash your own socks. But if you go to rehearsal or practice every night and gets bruises, laugh, cry, scream and rage-vent, it better be with people you call your own.

bonus if they take creeper photos of you during rehearsal 

Kids, love is not learned outside. Love is not learned in the movies or the news or in books or in plays. It's learned inside, inside your own home. Home is a safe place for you to mess up. Home is where free food is. Home is protected and nonjudgmental. All of that is possible because home and family is built on the love of a bunch of goofballs. 

pictured: goofy goobers

You, my sweet turds, come from a long legacy of love (and weirdos). This is the kind of love that should be celebrated the most because it might be the most abused. We take each other for granted, yell at each other, push all the right buttons. But I have felt the most love come from our house. Home, so says the Family Proclamation, is a sacred place. Family is a sacred love. It's funny. It's hard sometimes. Familial love is the best kind of love because deep down, you know that no matter what happens, we're all stuck with each other and there's no hope of ever getting out. 

When you grow up and come back from your missions, maybe your father and I will have taught you enough about love that you'll go out and try to convince some poor innocent to stay by your side for better or for worst. This person will make you excited to go to Costco to do the most mediocre errands. You'll pay off student loans with this person. Buy a house with that person. I hope that happens. Because then you'll internalize what I've been trying to say this whole time. 

Never listen to the movies. Never take advice from the songs. Never assume that what you see on the stage is a depiction of true love. We've all been obsessed with love from the moment we knew what it was, but there haven't been many who've accurately represented it in popular media. If you want to know what love is, might I suggest prayer. 

You know where love comes from, right? It comes from God, who sent His son to pay our debt. A debt that we couldn't repay, a debt that would keep us away from our Father forever. Love comes from Christ asking forgiveness for the very people killing him. His love will answer your prayers in the middle of the night when I'm not there. His love will protect you from people that want to hurt your feelings. His love will guide you to the most beautiful places. It will turn you into a better person. One day, maybe we'll be able to love the way He loves.  

Kids, love is FULFILLING. And if the way someone makes you feel is anything but? It's not love. Sometimes, it's even abusive. It's ETERNAL, so you need to treat it well enough that it'll last that long. Love isn't just for Valentine's Day, it's for EVERY day. And I'll celebrate this insipid little holiday if it'll help you understand what love is.

Love, Your Future Mom 

No comments:

Post a Comment