Oh My Glob.
By the time Pday comes, I'm so exhausted, I don't even know how I type. Sometimes I just want to write bullet points and close with a testimony and a prayer.... Cuz that's the only way I know how to close things.
IN lieu of *Zack's absence (and now he doesn't even text us back, what, are we not good enough for him?!) and Bradley's incarceration, our investigator, Briana has SKYROCKETED. She's gone from calling off her baptism and our discussions a couple weeks ago to inviting her previously anti sister to dinner and bearing testimony of how the gospel has changed her life. AND doing that missionary thing we do where we point out that other people have felt the spirit before! She's gone from being shaky on the doctrine to going visit-teaching with her member friend, Sister Elmer (the member that introduced her to the gospel!). She set her own date-- AND THEN MOVED IT UP HERSELF WITHOUT US SAYING ANYTHING. And yesterday, a miracle happened.
Now. I used to think that I had faith. And I do. I have the faith to endure, to wake up in the morning, to go on. But as it turns out, I did not have the faith to ask for miracles. That aside...
Briana texted us late at night, saying that she wouldn't make it to Sacrament Mtg because a sick co-worker called in and she had to cover his their shift. This means that she wouldn't make 830 or 11 am church... But we still had the 130 window!! She's have to get an hour early off... Dear sweet Sister Heap informed me that we would be praying for a miracle. That's when I told her that I didn't know if I could or not because I didn't think I had faith enough to make it work.
I had been praying for blessings for my investigators, but, as I told her (while looking down at my toes in shame) I'm too scared to ask for a miracles and have it not come to pass.
My companion told me that we ask for miracles in this area and I better get on my knees and join her in prayer. I told her that she's better say that prayer then and she told me that I would be, actually. I think I understand the phrase "help Thou my unbelief" nigh unto perfection... In that prayer, I testified to myself that God, in His power and glory, could do a small thing like help Briana make it to Sacrament. And then I asked if He would make a way.
About 20 minutes later, Briana texted us back saying that she had been able to get off work an hour early and come to the 130 Sacrament with us.
Sometimes, you guys, God does make us go through the trial of not having a miracle. And sometimes, He knows you're about to break and He gives you a small little miracle. Because it's not just the small miracle of Briana coming to Sacrament, but it's the big miracle of Sister Gunson exercising a mustard seed of faith.
Bad days are okay. Expected and planned for, even. But gosh darnit, if nobody else gets this, at least I get it, but God is a God of miracles! And He is my Father!!! Miracles have never ceased-- why should they ever? His power is back on the earth! Everything He has, He wants to give to us! I need to stop standing in the way of my own testimony....
Well, me and my mustard seed are gonna go teach some people and cry repentance and salvation, now.
Love you! Sister Gunson
PS: Another bitty miracle! I've been missing the guitar lately... and so the Lord has allowed me to teach one of our investigator's nephews how to play!! I'm so glad I get to give some service like that!! I"ve been hoping I'd get that opportunity... I'm so excited to teach guitar!! And drag the spirit along! ;)
*Sister Heap and I like to make Star Wars jokes about Zack. Whenever somebody bring shim up, we usually yell "YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! YOU WERE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE!!!!" Because that's the only way to deal with a runaway 'gator.